In the beginning, I was struggling. I didn’t know why it was so, I was getting fearful, lost and quite sad. Then after 2 weeks I realised that people close to me were breaking down. Their sense of self shattered, lost, confused, fearful, and I was saddened by this, watching it happen. We are all intertwined in this personal sense of ‘self’ because of our ties with each other, with our communities. Because the physical ties broke down, and society as we knew it broke down, my sense of self was affected too.
So for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been working on a new regiment, rebuilding myself from the ground up. My mornings begin with coffee, a cigarette, some social media browsing and emails. Then I begin my morning ritual; meditate, exercise and write. I write about feelings, thoughts, emotions. Not because I have readers, but it’s about making the invisible, tangible. So I can work on these issues throughout the day.
Then I have lunch and go to work in the studio, or stay home to work on the computer. I’m now thinking of adding another round of meditation at night. Nights are spent reading books till I fall asleep.
Q: What’s next for us?
I think a rebuilding of self, society and the economic system, prioritised to varying degrees by people. It’s already begun, as we speak. Tomorrow, some people will be going back to work. Businesses will open with conditions. People will operate with the residue of fear and caution. That’s how things will be for a while. Everyone will carry on with life with some semblance of what it was like before. I think the world will be a better place at the end of the day. It has always been this way, dark vs. light. As a collective human race; we are doing okay.
I’m looking forward to meeting friends again. Having mobility again. Embracing loved ones again. I need a hug badly lol.